Effective Communication is a skill we can all benefit from
I recently had the pleasure of returning to the Lighthouse in Poole (an amazing local Centre for the Arts) to deliver a series of coaching sessions on effective communication in the workplace. My brief was to address both inter-staff and customer communications and develop communication skills for in-person, online, verbal, and nonverbal interaction. The following is a soupçon of the work I did there…
Let’s get started…
What is communication?
“Communication is the actionable transfer of information from one person, group, or place to another by writing, speaking, or using a medium that provides a means of understanding. Every communication consists of a minimum of one sender, a receiver, and a message”. https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-communication-definition-importance.html
And why is it important?
We communicate in every interaction we have whether we speak or not. In fact, only 7% of our communication is verbal. According to Dr Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule, 7% of meaning is communicated through spoken words, 38% is through tone and 55% of our meaning is conveyed through body language.
This means there’s a lot of room for miscommunication and therefore misunderstanding.
The words we use.
Whether communicating online or face to face, your words can have a powerful impact. Think about how they might be interpreted. The words you use can influence how you are perceived. How intelligent, professional, and credible you are. Careful word choices promote clarity, understanding, and respect in your communications. They can also help avoid misunderstandings.
Your tone – in other words, how you say what you say.
Detecting the tone in an email or text is difficult (It’s why the emoji was invented) So, when replying to a text or email be guided by the sender. What is their tone? Formal or Informal? Friendly or Professional? How do they open the conversation? With a “Hi (name)”, “Dear Sir/Madam”, or “Oi you”? How do they sign off? “Yours sincerely”, “regards”, “best wishes”, (name)xxx? A good rule of thumb is to mirror their tone but stay authentic.
Tonality is easier to decipher face-to-face. You can hear the intention behind the words. You can see whether the facial expressions of the communicator are congruent with their tone. Do they believe what they are saying? If they don’t it’ll be written all over their face and obvious in their body language. They’ll be totally unconscious of it. You’ll notice they suddenly develop a twitch or a stutter. You can test this the next time you say something you aren’t committed to or don’t believe, notice how you feel; uncomfortable, I bet.
Communicating confidently and comfortably can be a minefield.
Here are some things to consider whether you’re the ‘sender’ or the ‘receiver’ and apply online or face-to-face.
If you are the sender clarify your message before communicating it. Is it clear? What is its purpose? Can it be understood? If unsure (and if appropriate) consult with a friend or colleague.
Be mindful of the tone of your message. That is how you say what you say. Is it helpful, open, and approachable or short, closed, and aggressive?
Are your actions congruent with and supportive of your communications? In other words, if your tone is open and approachable does your body language and physical expression match?
As the sender, you should not only seek to be understood but also to understand. Be a good listener and be sure to follow up on any communication you receive in return.
If you are the receiver especially when face to face, stop talking and put aside any distractions. You can’t be attentive otherwise. You want to create what is known as a ‘permissive environment’ where the sender is put at ease and feels free to talk.
Show the sender you want to listen. Look and act interested. As Steven Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
You build stronger relationships when you listen to understand. Don’t interrupt. Be patient and allow the sender to finish their thought.
Stay focused and empathise, it will help you see things from the sender’s point of view. If you do disagree with what’s being delivered hold your temper. Don’t let emotion affect your understanding. You risk putting the sender on the defensive. Instead, ask questions. Seek to clarify and understand. It also shows the sender you’re listening and encourages a more open dialogue.
What is Rapport and why does it help with communication?
When you listen and share with authenticity, humility, and empathy you build trust and stronger relationships, making it easier to communicate and interact with colleagues, clients, and customers in any setting and on any level. That’s rapport.
How do you develop it?
Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” And “knowing yourself” is the beginning of building rapport. It all starts with you.
Become aware, take ownership of your virtues and flaws, and understand how we all have a unique ‘map of the world.’
That is; we all have a different perspective on life, how it should be lived and how we should behave. Once you’ve done the inside work you can empathise, actively listen, and ask open-ended questions.
Finding ‘homophily’ with others is a great way of building rapport and strengthening connections. The word homophily is derived from the word homo, meaning “same”, and philic, meaning “like”. In simple terms, it means we are attracted to other people with whom we have something in common: place of birth, education, religion, friends, a love of dogs or a football team. You get the idea. Find something that connects you; something you have in common.
When you develop a good rapport, you make the other person feel respected, heard and seen.
Rapport makes communication easier and a lot more fun.
Effective Communication is a vast and fascinating subject and I’ve only scratched the surface.
We could dig deeper into emotional intelligence, perspective, and sensory acuity and tackle the different mediums, cultural differences, and environmental barriers but I’ll leave that for another article.
The outcome, dear reader is that when you address the issue of communication in the workplace and bring individual perceptions, perspectives, and barriers into the open you begin to nurture confident, clear, and fluent communication between staff and stakeholders, leading to better relations, interactions and less misunderstanding. Win, win, win!
If you, your team or your workplace would benefit from Effective Communication training, reach out. I have a variety of coaching programmes to suit. For an informal chat or more details get in touch through the Power To Speak website contact page or email me at jackie@powertospeak.co.uk.
Category: Blog